October 7, 2019 - 3:39 PM

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How is it that the Bible triggers suicidal thoughts in me? - that is totally contradictory.

I know why it is though. Heaven is all throughout the Bible - and I know someone that is in Heaven - by choice. Suicide. I’ve tried that and failed - a few times. She isn’t the only one either, I know of others, 1 for sure that I knew a long time ago. And other sin the world, celebrities etc. Sorrow is a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others. I had to look that up - I need to memorize it, because it embodies everything. Deep distress; check. Loss, disappointment or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others; check.

My experience (failure) at suicide. The deep distress in that place - thinking about her, in that moment, the anguish she was experiencing. It just swallows me up - I gotta finish writing this to get away from this pain.

To protect myself in the here and now.

The Bible talks about heaven. And she is in Heaven. And I am not. Heaven is not the only trigger I find in the Bible - but it is the one I just read in Luke 15.

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